#1: Awful, just awful
Warning, this sketch may contain spoilers.

Common sense regarding image file size, meet my fondness of doing sketches with blue ballpoint pens.

I'll post something serious eventually, but when I was sketching out how I'd lay out this site I had a tiny version of this sketched in where the main image would show up. It was so cute I had to make a larger version, and then since I had some left over space I added to it. Anyway, I find cute. If it wasn't for my complete loathing of Shouty and Fiznik, I would be tempted to do something at length like this.

In case you can't read that, it reads from top to bottom:
"I am an Angry Sword!"
"I am angry at Angry Sword!"
"I am indifferent to Angry Sword and everything else."