I always feel bad wasting paper, like I'm killing a tree

Not me. My father was killed by a tree.

I'm not kidding. He was out hiking one day when, by a one in a million chance, one just decided to come down and landed on him, killing him instantly. At least I like to imagine it was instantly. I guess there's no real way to be sure.

That was the real problem with the incident, that I wasn't there when it happened, so I've never really fully understood what happened to him. I was pretty young at the time, and was angry about it for a lot of years. Back then for lack of a better idea I blamed the tree for falling on him, and I wanted to take it out on them. Eye for and eye and all that.

I'd go into the backyard, where we had this huge old tree, I forget what type, and I'd just attack it with everything I had and anything I could find. My mother was so mad at me, for hurting the tree, and usually breaking whatever I was attacking it with too. We went through a lot of garden tools like that.

She'd always be a minute late to stop me though. I think even though she hated me doing it, she thought it was better I got it out of my system somehow, if I was that angry.

The funny thing is I did end up killing the tree. All the damage to it's bark made it susceptible to some kind of wood beetle, and within a year it was gone.